General Conference

I love general conference. Every October and April I get really excited to get the chance to listen to the leaders of our church and to take away golden nuggets of knowledge that I can keep with me for years to come. Wanna look it up? http://lds.org/general-conference?lang=eng

Once it officially finishes I'll post an analysis of sorts about my favorite ones:)

Scary storms and scary STRESS

They say that there's a first time for everything right? Well that's exactly what happened yesterday when I had to drive home from church in a torrential downpour. What made it even scarier is that I had my siblings in the car with me. I had to concentrate SO HARD to make sure I didn't, oh you know, KILL everyone in the car. It was really a frightening experience. But we made it home safely and for that I was so grateful.

But today I started experiencing a different type of stress. I started my CommonApp, and I finally realized that my life for the next few months is going to be overtaken by worrying about:

My grades

Studying for the SAT and ACT

It's a scary thought for me, my school life pretty much being boiled down into these final moments. But I'm just going to have to push through it and hope, HOPE everything turns out right:)

Giving up

Sometimes you try and try and try to hold on but you just can't. So you give up. Many times it's a good thing, other times it's not. But hopefully there's some benefit that comes out of it, whether for you or for someone else. I've given up on many things in my life, and this is sure not to be the last. This time I'm giving up a few things, most notably my social life, sacrificing it for school. I realize it's a little bit late, and that I should have done this LAST year, but you know what? I have to move on with my life and not dwell (TOO) much on the past. I've thought about it a lot lately, and have recognized that in order to be successful in life I'm going to need to develop habits now that will carry me through my college years (provided I even get INTO college..). So I'm starting now. I will try my very best to study for my classes, study for the SAT/ACT, and do all my homework as early as possible. It's quite a stretch for me, as I have a track record of not being that reliable in oh.. EVERY SINGLE ONE of those categories. But it's a goal I'm setting for myself and I'm going to work hard towards it. There are a few other things I'm going to try giving up too, such as my bad eating habits and my clinginess. And I hope to be able to accomplish those goals. I plan on updating my progress on this blog, so be prepared to read some about my trials soon! I'll post again as soon as I get my pile of homework under control and are able to finally take some time off to type on the computer :)

Me, the cook?

I'm not really. But every so often I get on a baking jag, and I like to try out a bunch of new stuff. So last night I made these awesome lasagna "cupcakes" I saw online. It was basically two pieces of noodles for the bottom, then sauce, meat, and ricotta, mozzarella, and parmesan cheese. SO yummy. I even took some pictures just for the blog! :) They were far from perfect, but for a first time, I think they turned out pretty swell! Hopefully I'll start perfecting some recipes and will be able to post some more soon... :)

The full plate

So delicious

Mmmmmm:)

Picture recap

So I know I already talked about the beginning of school, and that it was a LONG time ago, but since I just found out camera I thought it'd be fine to put up our beginning of school pictures!

The big high schoolers!

The younger ones, middle and two elementary

Everyone's seemed to have a good time getting back into the school rhythm. I hope it stays that way. School's been going easy on me so far, although I'm sure it'll increase in difficulty soon :/ I'm crossing my fingers that it won't be THAT hard to handle!

I really have no excuse this time...

Actually, I do a little bit. We've been in the middle of a couple of strange natural occurrences lately that have sort of occupied my attention. Well that and the beginning of school. But I've also been engaged with other things that I won't mention, as they're nothing that anyone wants to hear about. Nobody would like to hear my true thoughts and feelings; some would feel weird, some awkward, and some would probably fall unintentionally in love with me. Just kidding. But anyways, to recap, the natural "disasters" we've had is a 5.9 magnitude earthquake with the epicenter about 20 miles away, a crazy lightning storm, and Hurricane Irene that rolled through two days ago. But we survived and had no major damage, so it turned out for the best. Moving on to school, we started school 5 days ago, and so far this looks to be a good year. At least a much better one than last year. I sure hope so, as last year I almost died:) okay not LITERALLY but you know what I mean. Lastly, my other stuff. I know I wouldn't really mention it, but I will just post some lyrics that kinda portray what I'm feeling. But if they sounds really depressive, please know that I'm not! Hahahaa.

I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter...
I'll get over it eventually. Until next time!

Apologies

First off, I want to apologize for skipping so many days between blog post. School starts on Wednesday and I've started feeling the extreme homework crunch. And I've pretty much been doing that at all times. So right now I'm sitting on our hotel room balcony at the beach looking out at the super cool pools that are in the back. It feels nice outside and it's really relaxing, although it's ironic that I'm sitting back here doing homework (I'm taking a small break to post okay?!). The beach has always had a bit of cool juxtaposition of hectic and relaxing life. Many people connect the beach with lazy days relaxing by the sea, but I also see the big families with crazy kids trying to have a fun vacation. And I feel them close to panic because, Tommy forgot his swimsuit and OH NO where's Suzie?! I think that's because I'm part of one of those families and I've felt that same way. It's interesting to watch... So tomorrow we'll go to the beach for a little while then we're going to hike it on over to a lake a ways away to go boating. I'm looking forward to these little moments of time when I can NOT do homework. I'll post again when I can, hopefully it'll be by Monday! :)

Irritation

I have a problem. Very often I feel extreme flashes of irritation at people when they don't do what I want them to do or are rude to me with no prior reason. I think it's a control problem. It plagues me like my internal jealousies do. And I'm working on it. Over the past year or two I've been becoming increasingly uptight and it worries me. And not only worries, but also makes myself mad. I don't want to be known as that girl who can't take a joke, that's really not me! But I don't know how to rectify the situation. Maybe I can enter some "happy" therapy that will make sure I'm always bright and cheerful. Because that's the girl I want everyone to remember. I may not be the most popular, or have all the friends, but I do have a core group of (mostly) solid friends, and that's all I need. To be liked by many would just be an extra plus. But I'm good. Except for my not taking a joke thing. I'll need some help and support with that one...

Love

I have been thinking alot the last day and a half about love. Not the gushy, romantic love, but the caring love that causes people to do crazy things for others. Our lesson yesterday in church was about sacrifice, and in it our teacher told us the story about a woman who jumped in front of a car to save her child. That kind of love for others is the kind I've been thinking about. I was contemplating how we can develop this kind of love and I realized our perfect example is right in front of us. Jesus LOVED us all so much that he both suffered then died for every single one of us. If that's not love, I don't know what is. This might sound a bit strange, but I was thinking about my life and if there's anyone in it I'D be willing to take a bullet or to die for. I suspect (I hope!) that when I get married I'll feel that for my husband, and when I have kids I'll feel that for them too. But right now there's not many. Besides my family, there's only one person, possibly two I feel that way about. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing, but I hope that group grows a little but as I grow older so I can have that kind of love for a few more people....

Family days

Today we went down to Richmond to go visit my grandparents' ward and to have dinner with them. It was pretty fun, I love going to different wards and seeing how the church is so different in other areas but at the same time is extremely similar. I love that. While at their house though, I came across some old pictures my grandparents had on their computers. Thank goodness we've grown! :)

School anxieties

The past couple of days have been filled with my dreaded summer work *DUH DUH DUHHHHH*. And today we got our (potential) schedules. Both have started causing me a little bit of anxiety. First off, I have been starting my summer work, for which I have assignments for english, history, physics, and environmental science. KILL ME NOW. Hahaa but I'm getting there, slowly but surely! Only 11 more days until school... tear. I don't want to go back...
The second thing is my schedule. I saw it on SCORE, and it seems like I'm going to be in Recreation and Wellness with one girl and 30 boys. Joy. I think I might switch out of it soon if I'm able. But other than that I'm pretty excited about my SENIOR YEAR! Ahhhhhhhhhhh I can't even believe it myself!

"These are a few of my favorite things..."

I just wanted to write a post about some of my favorite things to do, say, read, watch... EVERYTHING! They're in no particular order, except for number 1. A word of warning: Some of these things might be surprising to you, or might just weird you out when it comes to the thought of me. But that's okay! Hopefully you will eventually get over the weirdness and start talking to me again ;)
I love/like...
1. The gospel. I love having the gospel in my life. It offers me comfort, security, a feeling of love and belonging, and also friends! I am really grateful I have my ward family and the strong backing I have in my life. The gospel is wonderful. I cannot even imagine not having it in my life.

2. Friends. My friends are FABULOUS. I am lucky enough to have a few extremely close friends and a larger group of good friends that I attend school and church with. They uplift me everyday and I love spending time with them. Plus, they are some of the most fun and hilarious people I've ever met!

3. Eating and food. Okay, I know that people might think this one is a little bit strange but really, I LOVE EATING. It's actually pretty bad for me, since I eat at all times- when I'm happy, sad, and even just bored. But food is really a comforting thing, it's delicious, and it makes you feel better (at that moment...).

4. People watching and stalking. One of my favorite things to do when my family goes places is to sit down, relax, and people watch. It interests me so much to look at others and see similarities and differences between them. I also have a fairly active imagination, so I like to imagine what people's situations are in their lives just from their appearance. I try not to be judging, but instead just be open to possibilities. But it's still fun to imagine.

5. Photography. This one is pretty obvious. I've already talked about how much I LOVE photography and you've probably already seen the excess of pictures I have on my blog:) But I especially love the super artsy shots with macro and also the nature/landscape photos.










6. Books. Books, books, books, where do I start? I love reading. It calms me, it allows me to take a break from the world and just relax, and it makes happy to be able to start something and finish it. Especially since I can finish books in a fairly short amount of time. But they are just so interesting! I love the fact that they are all different topics and that authors can create whole different worlds and scenarios just from their minds. Talk about cool!

7. Playing and watching sports. I really like sports. Being athletic is a huge blessing in my life and I'm glad my parents have always supported it. Otherwise, I'd be about 400 pounds at age 16 (see number 3). Some of the sports I play are soccer, swimming, and running (running I tolerate). But during the summer I not only play sports but I watch them. But a big difference between watching and playing is that I like a whole new crop of sports to watch. The ones I watch include tennis, gymnastics, figure skating, and cycling. Wow, I love cycling. But I really enjoy all sports and like watching them too!

8. Toilets. Okay, NOW you think I'm weird. But I told you I'd be honest, even if it looked strange. So toilets. I spend alot of time on the toilet. And not ONLY doing what you think I'm doing. But there's an outlet in my bathroom, so sometimes I go in there to plug in my electronics and use them. Also, my bathroom is one of the only places in my house where I can get away from everyone. Even my room's not safe! But the bathroom, that's my own. So alot of times even just entering there gives me sort of a sense of peace... I just feel more relaxed! Hahaa well now on to the next one, which I promise is not as freakish.

9. Boys. Good thing I like boys huh? I really enjoy interacting with the opposite gender, although I'm pretty unskilled in all things romantic: flirting, being cute, kissing etc. But I'm working on it, and at least I have a person to go to help me with boy-related things. My best friend Parker is awesome, fun, and great to be with. And I'm actually glad he's really good at reading people's feelings... He pretty much knows what I'm thinking all the time. He's always there for me, and I'm glad he's got my back:) Thanks, Parks.










10. Singing. Singing is one of my all-time passions. It is one of the things that if someone said, "Drop everything and go do something singing-related" I would have absolutely NO PROBLEM doing it. I love music, but even more I love creating music from myself. It gives me a great feeling of satisfaction to know I could have caused someone to feel pleasure or joy or happiness.

So there's 10 of my favorite things. If I think of any more major ones I'll add them. But I'm glad I could give you a little glimpse into my life, even if you don't think as highly of me now hahaa :)

Since not all of them would fit...

Here's the rest, the edgy photos from our shoot! :)

Pictures pictures pictures...

I have to admit, I am a very intense lover of photos. Photos of me, photos of my friends, photos of random people... they all appeal to me. I'm just a beginning photographer myself, but I especially appreciate beautiful and quirky pictures. So naturally I always take my camera with me. Usually it's my little Coolpix, but sometimes I get to use my mom's nice Canon. This was the case yesterday with my and Kayla's photoshoot. I have to say, I think we got some pretty smashing pictures out of it:) First we had our regular shoot just outside, no makeup on. Then we had a more.. edgy shoot with dark eyeliner in black and white (I edited it later). I hope they look good, we had a lot of fun taking them!

New blog

So I'm starting a blog. I've never done one before, so this will definitely be an interesting experience. Hopefully it won't just be a writing blog, but it will also be a picture/video/inspirational quote blog too:) Just to warn you, I'm not that witty and I can't come up with cute and adorable things to say. So you'll just have to bear with me as I try to express my thoughts and feelings!

So let me start to introduce myself and the things I like to do. I'm about to have a photoshoot with one of my best friends, Kayla. Hopefully we'll get a good picture or two to post! Kayla is really fun and awesome and makes my day brighter. She's also about a year and a half younger than I. But we still have so much fun together and I love laughing with her. More soon!